For the past twenty years, Southern rapper Bun B broke new ground as part of the legendary rap duo UGK. Now the Port Arthur MC is set to break new ground again, recording an entire album just by using the word “trill.”
“I’ve been telling you I’m trill since 1989,” says Bun B. “But a lot of people still don’t know what trill means, or recognize that I’m the trillest. So this should clear up a lot of that trill confusion.”
The album, tentatively titled Trill Trill Trill Trill, will be Bun B’s fourth solo release. It is preceded by Trill, II Trill and Trill OG - but the veteran MC says this one stands out.
“You really get the sense I’m trill on this one,” says Bun B. “On my previous work, you might’ve heard me say I’m trill here and there. But on this one, my trillness is out in full force. You gotta respect my trillosity. I’ve been trill, I am trill and I’m always gonna be trill. Word.”
As of now, Trill Trill Trill Trill is about 50% done, and features some familiar names. Jazze Pha produces the bouncy lead single “Triiiiill.” 8Ball & MJG guest appear on the pimping anthem “Trill? Trill, Trill, Trill.” But perhaps the most affecting song is “Trill, Trill Trill? (Trill, Trill Trill),” an ode to Bun B’s late musical partner, Pimp C.
Fans can expect Trill Trill Trill Trill to hit stores sometime in September 2010. But in the meantime, Bun B is living up to his reputation as the hardest working guy in rap - he’s already got a plan for his fifth solo album.
“If I can get the word out on trill with this one,” says Bun B, “and I mean really get the word out on trill, I’m going to do another record like this. But I never do the same thing twice. I’m gonna switch it up. The next one will be called Candy.”
Sources at Interscope Records have revealed the official tracklist and cover art for Eminem’s seventh studio album, “Recovery.”
1. I’m Totally Crazy, You Guys! 2. Let’s Go Murder Some Women 3. Have I Told You About My Mom? 4. Dissing Non-Threatening Famous People 5. A Skit You’ll Listen To Once, And Then Never Again 6. Uh Oh - Found Some Women Who Aren’t Murdered. 7. Drugs Are Good, But Also Bad - What A Dilemma! 8. Dr. Dre Is My Best Friend, And We Have Matching Bracelets 9. Have I Told You About My Ex-Wife? 10. My Name Is Slim Shady. Slim Shady Is My Name. What’s My Name? 11. Ugh…PROBLEMS. So many PROBLEMS. UGGGHHH 12. Another Skit You’ll Listen To Once, And Never Again 13. Farts (ft. Dina Rae) 14. Dissing More Non-Threatening Famous People - OMG 15. Have I Told You About My Daughter? 16. I’m Great At Rapping. Much Better Than You. Faggot. 17. Sorry For Saying Faggot (ft. Elton John) 18. D12 Still Exists (I Know, Right?) 19. Really? You Women Haven’t Been Murdered Yet? You Know I’m Crazy, Right? Right? RIGHT?!?! 20. An Outro You’ll Listen To Once, And Then Never Again
Production credits include The Alchemist, Just Blaze, Denaun Porter and bunch of goth kids. If you’re looking for the lead single “I’m Not Afraid,” the title has been changed to “Dissing Non-Threatening Famous People,” which is the other part of the chorus. (“I’m Not Afraid of Dissing Non-Threatening Famous People” was too long.)
[And no, my source at Interscope Records is NOT Jessica Dunlop, the publicist who mysteriously went missing. I do NOT KNOW HER, and I have NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS. I already told you this in my 50 Cent “Black Magic” post. So please STOP ASKING QUESTIONS or you will PAY DEARLY. (especially you, Nameless Narrator).]
Jay-Z might be the most accomplished rapper, with eleven multi-platinum solo albums, his own clothing line, his own entertainment company, co-ownership of the New York Nets, and one of the most beautiful women in the world as his wife. Yet in a recent listening session for his new album, King of Kings, it seems like he is running out of things to brag about.
“Eleven number one albums, maybe now twelve,” Jay-Z raps on the opening track, “Victory.” “Maybe thirteen if I put another on the shelf / After that, fourteen / After that, fifteen / I’m married to Beyonce / She’s really hot.”
“Yeah, there was a point where he was just counting,” says Meka of 2dopeboyz.com. “Then he stopped rhyming and kept repeating ‘Beyonce’s hot, Beyonce’s hot,” like we’ve never seen a picture of her before. I’m really not sure what Jay’s going for here.”
The listening session took place at 40/40, Jay-Z’s New York City nightclub, for a small audience of bloggers and journalists. While the crowd was initially excited, they quickly grew disappointed after hearing songs like “Room Service,” “Chris and Gwyneth” and “My Chauffeur.” However, the mood hit an especially low point during the DJ Toomp-produced cut, “Exclusive.”
“My house so exclusive, my car so exclusive,” Jay-Z raps. “My clothes so exclusive, my kicks so exclusive / My watch so exclusive, my fish so exclusive / my lamps so exclusive, my doilies so exclusive.”
“Yeah, I checked out when Jay-Z started rapping about doilies,” says MTV’s Shaheem Reid. “When I listen to Jay, I want to hear him rap about crime, girls, life, love, New York City. Not about doilies. And I don’t even know if this is rapping - he’s just listing things in his house.”
Though those in attendance were visibly bored - and rarely looked up from their iPhones - they stuck it out to the end to hear the buzzed-about song, “Left and Right,” featuring Jack White of The White Stripes. In recent interviews, Jay-Z called the track “crazy” and Jack White called it “incredible.” However, the song just turned out to be an ode to Jay-Z’s socks, which are so fancy and customized they must be designated “left and right,” like shoes.
“50% silk, 50% satin,” Jay-Z raps. “Sinatra on the side, bet you wonder how it happened.” Then, after a few guitar licks, Jack White comes in for the chorus: “Left and right / You gotta step in right / To my socks, my socks / Left and right / You gotta step in right / To my socks, my socks.”
“Yeah, I really don’t care about Jay-Z’s socks,” says Elliott Wilson of RapRadar.com. “I never thought I’d say this, but I was hoping Memphis Bleek would show up. Or Young Chris. I’d even take Amil. And I haven’t thought about her since 2002. I’d rather listen to a song by Amil then Jay-Z rap about socks.”
King of Kings is expected to hit stores 4th quarter 2010. The lead single, “Doilies,” is produced by No I.D.
Former Bad Boy artist Shyne recently returned to hip hop after spending more than eight years in prison. However, songs such as “Messiah” have gotten overwhelmingly negative feedback. Fans have wondered why Shyne’s voice sounds so raspy and jarring, and now an answer has finally emerged - all the new “Shyne” songs have actually been recorded by a horse that learned to speak.
“I am no longer the guy that I used to be,” says Shyne, who was convicted in 2001 for his role in a nightclub shooting. “The best way for me to move on with my life will be to put the past behind me. So all of my new songs will be recorded by a talking horse.”
The horse - nicknamed Ed after the 1960’s TV show - is a chestnut Arabian stallion, roughly 14 years of age. While the horse does not possess human intelligence, it is capable of mimicking human speech. Ed began by repeating simple phrases such as “Hello,” “very happy” and “good oats.” He worked his way up to repeating nursery rhymes, and now he raps the hard knock tales of a lascivious street hustler trying to make a fortune.
“I can’t think of anyone better than Ed to rap my verses,” says Shyne. “Ed represents the new me - a 30-year-old man that sounds like a talking horse.”
Ed, of course, is not the first animal to speak human language. Beyond parrots, there have been a variety of talking animals over the years - Tiggy the cat, Odie the dog, Hoover the harbor seal, Batyr the elephant. What separates Ed from the rest, though, is his expanded vocabulary and memory.
“I got the city on my back, pretty women in my lap,” Ed raps on Shyne’s new single, Messiah. “Rollin’ in the Rolls, Sit sittin’ in my lap. / This is not a rap, fool, this is not an act.”
Yet how exactly the horse can do this remains a mystery. Scientists claim Ed was discovered by a South Dakota farmer in the wild, with the only clue to its origin being the letters “DWF” branded onto its hind quarters. To most, those letters are meaningless. However, some people believe “DWF” stands for the Demikhov-White Foundation.
Rumored to exist since the 1980’s, The Demikhov-White Foundation is named after the controversial Soviet scientist Vladmir Demikhov and the controversial American surgeon Dr. Robert White. Demikhov was an organ transplant pioneer, who transplanted organs from one animal into another, and famously created the “two headed dog” in the 1950’s. White was best known for his head transplants on monkeys in the 1970’s - including one transplant where he successfully grafted one monkey’s head onto another monkey’s body.
The scientific community embraced both men as pioneers, but the public accused them of being unethical, or “Dr. Frankensteins.” Due to protests from animal rights activists, the work of Demikhov and White proved difficult to continue. Rumor has it that they continued their work in private, at an undisclosed location somewhere in the United States. Additional rumors state that they recruited other scientists to help them, and that the experiments advanced to the point of creating animal-human hybrids.
“I’m not going to comment on rumors and myth,” says Dr. Stephen Worthington, a New York-based scientist who’s been studying Ed for two years. “Just because a horse has some curious scars on his head and ‘DWF’ on its rear, doesn’t mean he has a human larynx.”
Shyne Po also dismisses the rumors. “I don’t know, man,” he replied. “All I know is I heard about this talking horse [scientists] were studying, and thought it would be a fresh way to get back in the game. I flew out to meet [Ed], and as soon as I saw him, it was a wrap. I was like…that’s me. That’s my new voice. In a talking horse.”
The verdict is out on whether Shyne and Ed, the talking horse, can produce a hip hop classic. But the formerly incarcerated rapper remains optimistic.
“We’re takin’ over the game, man,” claimed Shyne, as he stroked Ed’s mane. “Me and the talking horse. This is it, right here. You know what I mean? No one on the block has swagger like us. Ain’t that right, Ed?”
“No one on the block has swagger like us,” repeated Ed, with a snort. “No one.”
In a shocking magazine interview, West Coast rapper Snoop Dogg admitted that he has never used marijuana in any form. “I’ve never smoked weed before,” Snoop confessed. “I just wanted people to think I was cool.”
The legendary MC first gained notoriety by appearing on Dr. Dre’s 1992 album, The Chronic. He went on to release ten studio albums of his own, with songs like “Vapors,” “I Love Weed” and “Smokin’ Smokin’ Weed.” In 2000, he headlined the Up In Smoke Tour, and in 2002, High Times gave him the Stony Award for “Stoner of the Year.” Yet it appears this was all an elaborate facade.
“I’ve been faking it since I was 18,” Snoop revealed. “It was tough to make friends, and I just wanted Dr. Dre, Kurupt and Daz Dillinger to like me.”
In order to fool his friends, Snoop smoked oregano, but he later perfected a more realistic mix - oregano, pinyon pine potpourri, and poppy seeds. “It took forever to pick those poppy seeds out of the muffins,” Snoop reminisced. “But I needed them for the smell, you dig?”
As the years passed, Snoop went to greater lengths to fake getting high - including going nights without sleep. “There were all these concerts and interviews and shit,” Snoop said. “They expected me to be high, so I’d skip sleeping the night before. Then I’d come in all loopy and red-eyed and they’d think I was high. And they’d think I was happy because I was high. But I wasn’t happy because I was high. I was happy because other people thought I was cool, and wanted to be my friend.”
The revelation happened during an interview with Reprise Magazine on April 20th, aka “420,” an unofficial holiday for marijuana enthusiasts. The reporter asked Snoop if he had smoked up yet, and the gangsta rapper burst into tears. “I can’t lie anymore,” Snoop said, in between sobs. “Even if my friends stop hanging out with me and think I’m lame or some dork - I have to come clean.”
In recent days, Snoop has taken several steps to do this. He arranged to have his cameo in Half-Baked removed from all future copies. He renounced his 2002 Stony Award for “Stoner of the Year” (which High Times redistributed to Jim Breuer.) And most remarkably, Snoop’s entire catalog of music will be re-edited, re-recorded and remixed, replacing references to marijuana with references to puppies.
“I just think they’re cute,” the former Crip explained. “When I was hanging out with Warren G and Nate Dogg, and they were smoking weed, and I was smoking my oregano-potpourri-poppy seeds, after a night of no sleep….thinking about puppies was the only thing that kept me from crying.”
There is no word yet on whether Warren G, Nate Dogg, Dr. Dre, Daz Dillenger, Kurupt, RBX, Xzibit, Eminem, Ice Cube, Butch Cassidy, Tray Dee, Goldie Loc, Kokane, Jewell, Master P, Pharrell or The Lady of Rage will still be Snoop’s friend. But in the meantime, the rap icon’s keeping busy: The new, marijuana-free version of Doggystyle is due 4th quarter 2010. In order to wet fans’ appetites, Snoop offered a sample lyric from the updated “Gin N’ Juice.”
“Later on that day / My homey Dr. Dre came through with a gang of Tanqueray / And a puppy named Jay / It was so cute it made me choke… / Shit, this ain’t no joke / I had to back up off of it, set my cup down / Think about how happy I am with my friends around.”
Sources at Interscope Records have revealed the final tracklist and cover art for 50 Cent’s upcoming album, Black Magic:
1. I’m Going To Murder You 2. I’m So Tough I Can’t Even Describe It, But I’ll Try 3. Remember When I Used to Sell Drugs? 4. Girl, You Be Dancin’ In The Club And Shit, And I Like It 5. Eminem And I Are Crazy - Quite Crazy, As A Matter Of Fact 6. People Who Are Pissing Me Off For Spurious Reasons 7. Guns Are Fun And I Own Them WATCH OUT 8. I’m Still Going To Murder You 9. G-Unit Is Still A Thing, Sort Of 10. Girl, I Want To Have Sex With You, But I Also Want To Be Your Best Friend, Because I’m Sensitive And Shit 11. Something, Something, Something, Crack 12. Terrible Sexual Metaphor 13. Club Song Where I Repeatedly Say Dr. Dre’s Name To Imply He Produced It, Although He Didn’t 14. Money Money Money Money Money (ft. Wario) 15. Uh-Oh, I Had Sex With You 16. Remember All That Talk About Murder? Well, I’m Seriously Going To Murder You, In The Face, With My Gun. G-Unit.
No word on the production credits yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as I find a new source at Interscope. My old source was only willing to give up this information, and it is not possible for me to get in touch with her anymore.
(And no, this source was NOT Jessica Dunlop, Interscope Records publicist, who mysteriously went missing. I do NOT KNOW HER, and I have NO IDEA WHERE SHE COULD BE.)
The rap community was shocked today, with the release of a brand new website on the Internet. While there are countless websites that report rap news, and say “no homo” after every sentence, very few of these websites report fake rap news, and say “no homo” after every sentence. This new website - FakeRapNews.com - promises to fill that gaping hole with hot, juicy content. (No homo.)
Not much is known about its creator, “Joe Hanson.” According to Internet research, he claims to be a “comedian.” However, there are no records of him performing stand-up comedy or putting on shows with a reputable improv troupe. He also claims to be a “television host,” having worked on the shows “Smash Cuts” and “Joe Gets.” However, there is no evidence that either of these shows exist, and in a nationwide poll, only 5% of people had heard of them. (The poll had a 5% margin of error.) And in an even more bizarre turn, he claims to be a “rapper” named “Bino White.” A rudimentary YouTube search reveals several videos featuring “Bino White” - but what he is doing in them could hardly be considered rapping.
Since his Internet profile doesn’t hold up, there are some theories about “Joe Hanson.” Some say he is related to the band Hanson - that he was the fourth Hanson brother the family kept secret, and locked in an attic, before he snapped with rage and escaped. Others say he is the creation of Hanson Robotics - an android that looks human, and sounds human, but is programmed to destroy us all at an unspecified date in the future. Meanwhile, German anthropologist Keister Muller argued that “Joe Hanson” has been alive for hundreds of years. He claimed to have 19th century photos and 18th century paintings bearing Joe’s likeness - and in each image, Joe was the same age. But since Muller mysteriously disappeared, and all of his belongings were destroyed in a fire, we can easily discard this theory.
Until more information can be gathered about its creator, under the darkness of night, we must glean what we can from the website itself. FakeRapNews.com promises to be “your #1 source for hip hop since 2pac moved to Cuba,” and rival rap websites are decidedly shook. Three bloggers from HipHopDX.com leaped to their deaths from their 50th floor office window. Five editors from WorldStarHipHop.com took their own lives by eating rat poison. And over fifteen members of the SOHH.com Forum killed themselves by slitting their wrists (though, to be fair, that happens every day).
The effect of FakeRapNews.com has been felt amongst rap artists as well. Dr. Dre has bumped the release of Detox to June 6th, 2023, to make sure it’s “good enough.” Lil’ Wayne has changed his name to “R’lly Lil’ Wayne,” because he feels “humbled.” And 2pac has moved somewhere in South America, since his cover in Cuba was “blown.” (A 14-year-old boy in Ecuador claims he saw a 30-something black man arrive by boat, wearing a doo-rag, singing, “Hennessyyy, enemieees, Hennessyy, enemiees.”
Truly these are the first of many changes that will reverberate through the world. Stay tuned.
ShareThis
For the past twenty years, Southern rapper Bun B broke new ground as part of the legendary rap duo UGK. Now the Port Arthur MC is set to break new ground again, recording an entire album just by using the word “trill.”
Jay-Z might be the most accomplished rapper, with eleven multi-platinum solo albums, his own clothing line, his own entertainment company, co-ownership of the New York Nets, and one of the most beautiful women in the world as his wife. Yet in a recent listening session for his new album, King of Kings, it seems like he is running out of things to brag about.
The listening session took place at 40/40, Jay-Z’s New York City nightclub, for a small audience of bloggers and journalists. While the crowd was initially excited, they quickly grew disappointed after hearing songs like “Room Service,” “Chris and Gwyneth” and “My Chauffeur.” However, the mood hit an especially low point during the DJ Toomp-produced cut, “Exclusive.”
Though those in attendance were visibly bored - and rarely looked up from their iPhones - they stuck it out to the end to hear the buzzed-about song, “Left and Right,” featuring Jack White of The White Stripes. In recent interviews, Jay-Z called the track “crazy” and Jack White called it “incredible.” However, the song just turned out to be an ode to Jay-Z’s socks, which are so fancy and customized they must be designated “left and right,” like shoes.
Former Bad Boy artist Shyne recently returned to hip hop after spending more than eight years in prison. However, songs such as 
“I got the city on my back, pretty women in my lap,” Ed raps on Shyne’s new single, Messiah. “Rollin’ in the Rolls, Sit sittin’ in my lap. / This is not a rap, fool, this is not an act.”
“I’m not going to comment on rumors and myth,” says Dr. Stephen Worthington, a New York-based scientist who’s been studying Ed for two years. “Just because a horse has some curious scars on his head and ‘DWF’ on its rear, doesn’t mean he has a human larynx.”
In a shocking magazine interview, West Coast rapper Snoop Dogg admitted that he has never used marijuana in any form. “I’ve never smoked weed before,” Snoop confessed. “I just wanted people to think I was cool.”
The revelation happened during an interview with Reprise Magazine on April 20th, aka “420,” an unofficial holiday for marijuana enthusiasts. The reporter asked Snoop if he had smoked up yet, and the gangsta rapper burst into tears. “I can’t lie anymore,” Snoop said, in between sobs. “Even if my friends stop hanging out with me and think I’m lame or some dork - I have to come clean.”
There is no word yet on whether Warren G, Nate Dogg, Dr. Dre, Daz Dillenger, Kurupt, RBX, Xzibit, Eminem, Ice Cube, Butch Cassidy, Tray Dee, Goldie Loc, Kokane, Jewell, Master P, Pharrell or The Lady of Rage will still be Snoop’s friend. But in the meantime, the rap icon’s keeping busy: The new, marijuana-free version of Doggystyle is due 4th quarter 2010. In order to wet fans’ appetites, Snoop offered a sample lyric from the updated “Gin N’ Juice.”
with the release of a brand new website on the Internet. While there are countless websites that report rap news, and say “no homo” after every sentence, very few of these websites report fake rap news, and say “no homo” after every sentence. This new website - 
Since his Internet profile doesn’t hold up, there are some theories about “Joe Hanson.” Some say he is related to the 
The effect of FakeRapNews.com has been felt amongst rap artists as well. Dr. Dre has bumped the release of Detox to June 6th, 2023, to make sure it’s “good enough.” Lil’ Wayne has changed his name to “R’lly Lil’ Wayne,” because he feels “humbled.” And 2pac has moved somewhere in South America, since his cover in Cuba was “blown.” (A 14-year-old boy in Ecuador claims he saw a 30-something black man arrive by boat, wearing a doo-rag, singing, “Hennessyyy, enemieees, Hennessyy, enemiees.”