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Though he’s only been incarcerated for two months, multi-platinum rapper Lil’ Wayne is already declaring himself “the best prisoner alive.”
“Weezy F. Baby!” exclaimed Lil’ Wayne, from his cell in Rikers Island. “You know what it is! I’m the king. Ain’t nobody else on my level. Nobody. I’m one of the greatest to ever serve time. Best prisoner alive.”
These words spurred a groundswell of support from young prison fans, who excitedly spammed message boards and designed T-shirts to proclaim Lil’ Wayne’s dominance. However, the vast majority of prison fans remain unconvinced.
“Just because you say you are the best prisoner alive doesn’t mean you are the best prisoner alive,” says prison critic Heath Fresno. “Every prisoner says he’s the best prisoner alive. I don’t know why people are so eager to believe Lil’ Wayne when he says it. He doesn’t even have a classic riot.”
To date, Wayne’s started seven prison riots, which have ranged in quality from mediocre to okay to good. Yet young prison fans insist his riots are among the greatest to ever take place. “F*ck the haterz!!!!” writes WeezyFan1994, on the Lil Wayne Discussion Forums. “He’z runnin dis game!!! Yall juss jealous!!! U need 2 get used 2 these words: Weezy: Best prisoner alive!!! Yeah!!! Young Money 4eva!!!”
“I don’t think his fans are that familiar with prison,” says Heath. “Don’t get me wrong - Lil’ Wayne’s alright. But there are so many other great prisoners - Ray-Z, Nazz, 2-Glocks, Piggy, Sock’im, Big Stabby Kane, Starface, KRS-Gun, Ice Dude, Ghostface Killah. Is Lil’ Wayne really a better prisoner than those guys? Is his riotography really on their level? I don’t think so.”
Lil’ Wayne fans may find such opinions to be snobbery. But the good news is, Wayne still has some time to prove himself. He won’t be released from Riker’s Island for ten months, and is already working on a new riot.
“The next one’s gonna be crazy!” exclaimed Lil’ Wayne. “Y’all aren’t even going to believe it. It’s another classic riot - that’s eight classic riots in a row. Let’s see your favorite rapper do that. Oh, wait, he can’t, unless I’m him. I’m the greatest, baby! Best prisoner alive!”
- Posted by JOE
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