Master P Moons Crowd; Makes Them Say ‘Uhh’

Pandemonium broke out at the Lakeside Shopping Center last weekend, as rapper and producer Master P mooned a crowd of dozens, making them say “uhhh.”

“I warned you!” screamed Master P, as security personel dragged him away. “I f-cking warned you!”

The incident took place around 2PM at the Center Court, located between Dillards and J.C. Pennies. Patrons shopping for a new summer wardrobe were reportedly shocked to see a middle-aged man in gaudy No Limit clothing suddenly drop his pants and grin from ear to ear.

“I thought he was going to stop when he was in his boxers,” said Dorothy Clesgood, 54. “But then he dropped those too and - oh, geez, I had to say ‘uhh!’ We all did. It’s really gross to look at a butt.”

After dropping his boxers, Master P, 43, reportedly wagged his butt from side to side, chanting “Na-nah, na-nah! Na-nah na-nah!” Lakeside Shopping Center patrons - which ranged from teenagers to the elderly to small families - responded by saying, “Uhh!” and shielding their eyes. Master P then repeated his chant of “Na-nah, na-nah! Na-nah, na-nah!” multiple times before being arrested by mall security.

Police say it isn’t uncommon to see Master P in Metairie, Louisiana, as it is a suburb of his birthplace, New Orleans. However, this is his first incident of public indecency, and they are taking it seriously.

“It’s true that he warned us,” said Officer Dan Steele. “He said he was going to make us say ‘uhhh’ in 1997, and we ignored him. Now we’re paying the price. But you know what? We learn from our mistakes and we’re not going to let the No Limit Soldiers win - if we ever get word that Master P, Fiend, Silkk the Shokker, Mia X or Mystikal are in Metairie again, we will sound a red alert. No one’s going to make the good people of this town say ‘uhhh’ ever again.”

It is unclear what precisely Master P might be planning. The veteran MC refused to speak to reporters as he was escorted from the mall - though he did take a moment to scream at a nearby Radio Shack, “I got the hook-up! Holler if you hear me! Uhhh! I got the hook-up! Holler if you hear me!”

Radio Shack employees are reportedly “terrified” and have doubled their security in response.

- Posted by JOE

Note: If you are wondering why there were no articles last week, it was because I took the week off. It was NOT because I ‘became unstuck in time’. Those are vicious and entirely baseless rumors. It would be in the best interest of the people spreading them to stop, because they are NOT prepared to reap the consequences. I am only saying this once. Your move.

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