Def Jam Records has just released the official tracklist and cover art for Kanye’s fifth studio album, Good-Ass Job.
1. Damn, It Feels Good To Be A Hipster 2. Shoes, Shoes, Shoes! 3. HELP MY CAPSLOCK BUTTON IS STUCK 4. Yes, I Like Fish Sticks 5. You’re Welcome, Taylor Swift 6. AutoTune Is So Cool 7. AutoTune Is So Lame 8. AutoTune Is So….I DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE 9. Martin Van Buren Doesn’t Care About Welsh People 10. Shoes. OHMYGOD. Shoes. (ft. Kelly) 11. Yo, Eyjafjallajökull! I’m Really Happy For You, And I’mma Let You Finish, But Mýrdalsjökull Had The Greatest Volcanic Eruption Of All Time! 12. Some Bragging Over An Old Daft Punk Song 13. Hey Jay Leno, What Would Your Dead Mother Say About Asking People About Their Dead Mother? 14. Credibility (ft. Common & Mos Def) 15. Please Do Not Confuse This Album With Clay Aiken’s “Good Ass-Job” 16. Preemptive Apologies For Everything I’m Going To Do In The Next Ten Years
Rumor has it that on this album the usually shy West reveals what he thinks about himself. (Spoiler alert: He’s impressed.)
He also makes frequent reference to a “Louis Vuitton Don,” which sounds like a metrosexual mafioso. That is INCORRECT. “Louis Vuitton Don” is a nickname Kanye gave to himself, because he is like a fashion-conscious Don Quixote. Obviously, this makes Jay-Z his Sancho Paza and Amber Rose his Dulcinea. It also explains why Kanye frequently destroys windmills.
Good-Ass Job hits stores September 13th, and will come with a free pair of elastic, glow-in-the-dark skinny jeans.
Bad Boy Records has just released the official tracklist and cover art for Diddy’s fifth studio album, Last Train To Paris.
1. LET’S GO!!!! BE GREAT PEOPLE!!! LOCK IN!!! 2. Money Club Happy Dance Time 3. Who Wants To Be My Assistant? Insane Masochists. 4. I Throw Parties With Breakdancing Unicorns. You? 5. Something Nas Ghostwrote For Me 6. Some Re-Purposed Biggie Vocals 7. I Invented The Remix, And The Kinetoscope 8. Alright, Farnsworth, Stop Fucking Around And Get My Dry Cleaning 9. LET’S GET IT!!! HATE IS 4 SUCKAS!!! SPREAD LOVE!!! 10. Something T.I. Ghostwrote For Me 11. Sex Love Girl Dance Shopping 12. Vote For U.S. Senator Amy Klobuchar, Or Die 13. A Sincere Apology For “Come With Me” 14. Making The Band, That Won’t Stay Together 15. Something Royce da 5’9” Ghostwrote For Me 16. Awkward Elevator Ride (ft. Shyne) 17. Ironically, I Wake Up In The Morning Feeling Like Ke$ha 18. DON’T STOP!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!! GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
The album features producers that want to be invited to Diddy’s parties, singers that want to be invited to Diddy’s parties and rappers that want to be invited to Diddy’s parties. Pick up Last Train To Paris on June 22nd, and you yourself might be invited to one of Diddy’s parties!*
*You will never be invited to one of Diddy’s parties. Unless you are employed as one of his Human Coasters. In which case, you will be given a heavy dosage of anesthesia, duct taped to an ivory table, and remember nothing.
Sources at Interscope Records have revealed the official tracklist and cover art for Eminem’s seventh studio album, “Recovery.”
1. I’m Totally Crazy, You Guys! 2. Let’s Go Murder Some Women 3. Have I Told You About My Mom? 4. Dissing Non-Threatening Famous People 5. A Skit You’ll Listen To Once, And Then Never Again 6. Uh Oh - Found Some Women Who Aren’t Murdered. 7. Drugs Are Good, But Also Bad - What A Dilemma! 8. Dr. Dre Is My Best Friend, And We Have Matching Bracelets 9. Have I Told You About My Ex-Wife? 10. My Name Is Slim Shady. Slim Shady Is My Name. What’s My Name? 11. Ugh…PROBLEMS. So many PROBLEMS. UGGGHHH 12. Another Skit You’ll Listen To Once, And Never Again 13. Farts (ft. Dina Rae) 14. Dissing More Non-Threatening Famous People - OMG 15. Have I Told You About My Daughter? 16. I’m Great At Rapping. Much Better Than You. Faggot. 17. Sorry For Saying Faggot (ft. Elton John) 18. D12 Still Exists (I Know, Right?) 19. Really? You Women Haven’t Been Murdered Yet? You Know I’m Crazy, Right? Right? RIGHT?!?! 20. An Outro You’ll Listen To Once, And Then Never Again
Production credits include The Alchemist, Just Blaze, Denaun Porter and bunch of goth kids. If you’re looking for the lead single “I’m Not Afraid,” the title has been changed to “Dissing Non-Threatening Famous People,” which is the other part of the chorus. (“I’m Not Afraid of Dissing Non-Threatening Famous People” was too long.)
[And no, my source at Interscope Records is NOT Jessica Dunlop, the publicist who mysteriously went missing. I do NOT KNOW HER, and I have NO IDEA WHERE SHE IS. I already told you this in my 50 Cent “Black Magic” post. So please STOP ASKING QUESTIONS or you will PAY DEARLY. (especially you, Nameless Narrator).]
Sources at Interscope Records have revealed the final tracklist and cover art for 50 Cent’s upcoming album, Black Magic:
1. I’m Going To Murder You 2. I’m So Tough I Can’t Even Describe It, But I’ll Try 3. Remember When I Used to Sell Drugs? 4. Girl, You Be Dancin’ In The Club And Shit, And I Like It 5. Eminem And I Are Crazy - Quite Crazy, As A Matter Of Fact 6. People Who Are Pissing Me Off For Spurious Reasons 7. Guns Are Fun And I Own Them WATCH OUT 8. I’m Still Going To Murder You 9. G-Unit Is Still A Thing, Sort Of 10. Girl, I Want To Have Sex With You, But I Also Want To Be Your Best Friend, Because I’m Sensitive And Shit 11. Something, Something, Something, Crack 12. Terrible Sexual Metaphor 13. Club Song Where I Repeatedly Say Dr. Dre’s Name To Imply He Produced It, Although He Didn’t 14. Money Money Money Money Money (ft. Wario) 15. Uh-Oh, I Had Sex With You 16. Remember All That Talk About Murder? Well, I’m Seriously Going To Murder You, In The Face, With My Gun. G-Unit.
No word on the production credits yet, but I’ll let you know as soon as I find a new source at Interscope. My old source was only willing to give up this information, and it is not possible for me to get in touch with her anymore.
(And no, this source was NOT Jessica Dunlop, Interscope Records publicist, who mysteriously went missing. I do NOT KNOW HER, and I have NO IDEA WHERE SHE COULD BE.)
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